Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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