Got a toothbrush?
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
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