ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
