Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Randomize
