...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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