My hair reeks of homosexuality.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Randomize
