Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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