ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Randomize
