ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize