Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
