Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
