in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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