He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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