This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
