he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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