im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
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