so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
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