dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
