sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
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