Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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