when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
