??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
