Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
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