the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
