Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
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