He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize