So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Did you pee in the oven last night??
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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