First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
