So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
it's like heaven, but drunker
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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