I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
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