After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
