I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I smell stomach acid.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
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