Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Randomize
