HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Dignity is for republicans.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Randomize
