I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
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