My first STD was from a foam party
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
