I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Randomize
