did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
