I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Randomize