You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Randomize
