I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Randomize
