There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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