There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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