OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
