Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Randomize
