On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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