We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
