We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
