he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
