Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
