i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
COCAINE IS GR8
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
