Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
