he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Randomize