why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
