your parents love me but you hate me
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize
