I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
