i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
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