After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
